Sometimes a thought materialises in the jumble of my mind and then I find myself in situations where it continuously loops through my consciousness.
Is it possible to fundamentally change yourself?
As humans the majority of us can adapt to fit into our surroundings. For example when starting a new job there is an extent of time when you are not yourself; you are a cautious you or an over exuberant you. You are the you that you need to be to find out how you will fit into the new surroundings. Eventually however you will most likely plateau into the real you for that setting.
I believe that everyone has many selves, the person you are around your family, the person you are around your friends, your partner, co-workers, strangers, alone…that’s not to say that the difference has to be an extensive one, it could be exceptionally subtle but I do believe its there.
What I have been wondering though is can you consciously change something intrinsic. How much of yourself can you change for someone else’s benefit and how much of yourself would you lose?
If a person that you love, be it a family member or friend, suggests that you change something about yourself; not your hair colour or throwing out that jumper you’ve been wearing for years that has no shape but is very comfortable; something non-materialistic like an expression your face makes or an involuntary reaction to something. Is it achievable to do so? Is it a question of will power?
If I am not the instigator of the change is it likely that it will be a negative result because my heart wasn’t originally in it or would it be positive because I would have the extra motivation. Inherent traits I would have thought were what people would find the most endearing about their loved ones. Even if they were marginally irritating isn’t that what love is about? Learning to accept someone’s flaws and find the appealing qualities within them.
On the flipside of that though, is it selfish not to want to change and grow and be a better version of you? I have been mulling over a suggestion that someone made to me last week and speculating how much damage it would do to my person to make myself enjoy something that I know I don’t like. At the moment I am fairly set on the thought that I would start to resent that person and then myself. That however could morph into something that I begin to care less and less about. Is it a case of trying and letting fate see where the chips fall or only think of myself and save the heartache if it turns out I can’t change.
I guess I won’t know until I try, as there is no way to quantify that between individuals.
It would be nice if someone had an answer though.